Jenny's perspective on the Grand Canyon

June 17, 2012, Eric’s 13th birthday and Father’s Day

(OK, again, this post is a little late.  I wrote this the day after going to the Grand Canyon, but couldn’t get the pictures inserted and blog uploaded until today.  I know Ray already wrote about the Canyon trip, but this is a different perspective.)

Grand Canyon day!  Before we left to see the Grand Canyon, Eric and Ray opened their gifts and cards.  I also brought with us all the cards that friends and family had given to Eric previously, just so he could look back and remember all the love and good wishes everyone had given him before we left.  

The 1:40 drive turned into 2+ hours.  Along the way, we saw cattle guards, which are a neat invention designed to prevent cattle from crossing the road, by having tight grates where the ranch boundaries intersect the highway.  Cars can cross it just fine, but the cows can’t walk across it because they know their hooves will get stuck, and apparently, cows can’t jump.  Who knew?

We also saw Joshua trees, which I had never seen before, not even in pictures.  They look like something from a Dr. Seuss book, with their up-reaching arms and furry-looking round tufts at the end of each arm. 

We went to Grand Canyon West, which is part of the Hualapai Nation, a Native American reservation.  

After the 2 hour drive, 30 minutes of which are on a really bad unpaved road, we had to buy bus tickets up to the Canyon. The tickets also give visitors the right to be on the reservation, and jump back on the bus whenever you want, to go to the next viewing area.  

We disembarked the bus and saw that there is no guardrail, no fence, no boundary, no NOTHING, at the edge of the Grand Canyon.  People were walking RIGHT UP TO THE EDGE, taking pictures, jumping around, sitting on the edge, letting their children walk out onto the rocks at the edge….  It was just too much for me.  

A little background:  My whole life, I was never, ever afraid of heights.  Loved to fly.  Loved the highest roller coasters.  When I was little, we would climb out onto the roof of our 3-story home, and watch the Gasparilla parade from there.  In my 20s, I used to go up to the roof of the bank building where I worked, and sit on the edge of the roof, with my legs dangling off the edge of the building.  I loved it.  Then I had Claire.  Suddenly, I was concerned, then worried, then anxious, about things falling off the edge of anything high.  Things like our camera, or my wedding ring if I dangled my hand over a railing.  Then, when we started taking Claire places, I became scared about Claire falling.  I found that I couldn’t climb lighthouses anymore.  It didn’t matter how far from the edge we were.  It scared me.  A lot. 

It has now apparently progressed to the point that I will have a full-blown panic attack.  The Grand Canyon was the second time on this trip that I cried, but this time it was pure panic, not awe at the beauty.   It’s hard for me to even write about this experience, a full day later.  Last night, I couldn’t sleep, as every time I started to drift off, my mind conjured up one of those insane, careless people on the edge, getting too close to Eric…  Suddenly I would awaken with a jerk, sweating, heart racing.  I swear, I don’t understand these people. 

Everybody just wanted to go right out there, but I was trying to get used to the idea.

Ray went out toward the edge a little, and he actually slipped a tiny bit.  That’s when I really lost it. 

I slowly walked out by myself, before I would let the kids get anywhere near those rocks.  Then, we all stayed back and got still shots. 

  

Anyway.  We had the choice of going out onto the Skywalk or not.  I actually felt as though I would have been better out there on the Skywalk, with the railings and all, than I was watching those insane tourists getting so close to the edge of the rocks.  However, I decided I would stay back and videotape Ray, Claire, and Eric, as they went out onto the Skywalk, since they were not allowed to take a camera.  They had a great time, and I was freaked out the entire time they were gone. 

I truly hope I never, ever have to experience anything like that again.  If they had only had railings….